Birgit Fehst - Couples Therapy
✓ helps with violent arguments, dealing with different sexual desires, building trust after affairs
✓ brings more understanding for one another, better conflict resolution and a more positive communication
✓ through quick results and permanent changes
Find your way back to love
Couples Therapy in Berlin helps
Are you familiar with this situation like many of us: he didn't put the dishes into the dishwasher in the correct way, he did not listen to you properly or her tone of voice was disastrous? In many situations you react in a flash with a fierce action and an argument breaks out. Over trivial things and even things that you may not remember afterwards.
If frequent quarrels and conflicts are your main problem, feel free to stay on this page. I will help you to quickly break through your argument dynamics and find your way to a more constructive communication. If you are dealing with an affair I will help you to regain trust and to raise your relationship to a new level. As a couples therapist, I have already helped over 1,000 couples to solve a wide variety of relationship problems and find each other again, both emotionally and physically.
If issues with your sexuality is your main concern, feel free to look directly at the sex therapy page. I will be happy to support you in exploring how you can regain a fulfilling sex life.
If you want to come alone because your partner is not really ready for couples therapy or if you generally want to shed light on your relationship issues such as jealousy or recurring patterns, go to the individual therapy page. With modern methods we can actually bring about quick changes and create clarity. And if it is really urgent and you want to really accelerate, then a double session or a full power day couple therapy might be appropriate. From morning to evening, the three of us in the practice is as intensive as possible and brings results that give your relationship a fresh start. Let's talk soon!
What are good reasons for couples therapy?
Bad / little sex
Not feeling seen
Lack of communication
Little understanding for one another
Lack of trust
The list is far from complete, but it does give a first idea of what most couples are struggling with. I think you recognize yourself on one point or another. "The quality of your life is only as good as the quality of your relationship," says Esther Perel , one of the greats in international couples therapy.
Many therefore not only have relationship problems, but also suffer from concentration disorders, psychosomatic symptoms, fears or depression as a result. Lovesickness is to be taken seriously and can really make your whole life difficult. Act now! And not when it's too late.
The course and length of couples therapy
You make an appointment online , write me using the contact form, send me an email or give me a call. I will get back to you by phone or email and we will arrange an initial appointment of 1 hour.
I don't do free trial sessions. However, if you/we notice during the first half an hour of the first meeting that a collaboration is not right, you can cancel without any ifs or buts free of charge.
There is no minimum or maximum number of appointments. You decide how often and for how long you want to come.
Most come between four and eight times. But there are also couples who only seek advice once or twice because they only need one impulse. And there are couples who keep coming back over the years to keep up with the ball.
A session does usually lasts 1 hours, but you also have the opportunity to book a 90 minute or double session or even a full power day! I have clients from all over Germany and also from abroad who are happy to take advantage of this opportunity. You can find more information about an intensive day here.
What is in it for you?
As described above, couples therapy can help you not only to improve your relationship, but also your overall quality of life. But why do you need outside help at all and just can't get it back on your own? You are not mentally ill!
True, the term “therapy” is misleading, because it is purely about the cooperation between the two of you, not about disorders of disease value. We are more like “couple teachers” or “couple counselors”; Coach or trainer would also be appropriate. We, too, first had to learn how relationships work. And we pass this knowledge on.
Many conflicts and dynamics repeat themselves over and over again. So they are in human nature. The couple therapy experts have got to the bottom of these conflicts and have developed methods of how they can be broken up.
So you get tools with which you can work at home every day. And you get tools to understand each other better. They are both individuals with different personality styles, different views, needs and values.
If you are really ready to fully understand and accept the other, it will be much easier for both of you to find solutions to your issues. Because according to John Gottman there are not simply “yes / no” solutions for 69% of conflicts, but they are based on precisely these different views or needs. And how you can deal with it more harmoniously, I'll show you in my practice.
For two years we were in the dark with our relationship problems until Ms. Fehst practically simply switched on the light. I fell in love with my own wife all over again." (Sven H.)
How much does couples therapy cost?
Couples therapy 60 minutes: 160 €
Intensive couples therapy day 8 hours: 1250 €
You can also book a 90 minute or a double session- just let me know if you prefer that (not available if you book online).
The costs for a couple counseling always include the preparation and follow-up as well as the evaluation of a 35-page questionnaire.
You can pay cash or with a debit or credit card at the end of each session.
Please note that you can cancel appointments (including first appointments) up to 48 hours before the session free of charge. Only then a fee of 130 Euros will be charged, as the appointment cannot be reassigned. You can also book several appointments with an interval of 2 weeks in order to avoid any waiting times between the sessions.
Unfortunately, statutory health insurances do not cover the cost of couples therapy. Private health insurance companies partially cover individual therapy. However, there is the option to claim the invoices for tax purposes.
A big German pop star from the 80s called Nena once sang "Love is made out of courage" and she was right.
If you've decided to do couples therapy, that's what we're going to do: speak the truth, courageously with no beating around the bush. I follow the direct approach without a cuddle course.
Scientifically sound and yet with a lot of understanding for all "human abysses".
I work with the tools of John Gottman, David Schnarch, Esther Perel, Ulrich Clement, Sexocorporel, the findings of modern brain research and many other approaches.
Ultimately, my many years of experience as a couples therapist in Berlin showed me what works and what doesn't. There is not only one way to live and love. People are diverse and so are their needs and concerns.
My name is Birgit Fehst, I am 52 years old, have a beautiful practice for couples therapy in Berlin Charlottenburg and I am looking forward to working with you soon!
The great happiness of love is to find rest in another heart (Julie de Lespinasse)
Couples therapy step by step
What's wrong with the relationship?
We analyze what exactly you are dealing with over and over again and define your goals. What exactly would you like to change? What do you want instead?
Here I often work with the questionnaire and the tools by John Gottman. He has analyzed thousands of couples in his love lab and is able to make a prognosis of 94% accuracy about the course of the relationship. But even a negative prognosis doesn’t mean that you cannot make it. You have already become active and are ready for a change.
However, that change should indeed be initiated soon...
Interruption of couple dynamics
If frequent fights are in the center of attention, I’ll show you right in the first session how to get out of there. If sexuality is your topic, I’ll show you ways for getting the sex you want.. And if an affair threatens the relationship, I’ll show you how you can find your way back together.
Modern neuroscience has answers on how to get out of the traps couples fall into real quick. The methods of emotions focused couples therapy have a wonderful explanation for couple dynamics and how to turn them around. As a certified systemic sex therapist I use the knowledge of the systemic society and Sexocorporel. And regarding affairs I have learnt a lot from Esther Perel and David Schnarch.
From negative to positive
To simply disrupt a dysfunctional couple dynamic is not enough. We need to find the source of the negativity. What triggers you? Or what was the real reason for the infidelity? The interaction between you two cannot get better if you have a constant underlying feeling of resentment; no matter which tools you use. Not matter which tools you use. The negativity has to go. But- just to eliminate the negative, again, isn’t what makes you happy. You have to rebuild your emotional bank account. I’ll show you how to do that without falling back into old patterns.
In order to gain a better understanding for each other, I use various personality profiling models and again the findings of John Gottman.
This process is not set in stone, but rather shows typical approaches. Every couple comes with their own unique set of challenges, so yours may look very different. Also attached are some tips on methods for those who would like to know which tools I use, among other things.
Are you interested in
You can call me or my mailbox on 030/854 01770. I will get back to you personally within a few hours. You are also welcome to write me an email or book directly through doctolib. My office hours vary from Monday to Friday from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m., on Saturday from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m.