Birgit Fehst - Couples Therapy
✓ helps with violent arguments, different sexual desires, affairs and much more.
✓ brings more understanding for one another, better conflict resolution and a more positive communication
✓ through quick results and permanent changes
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Couples Therapy Berlin
A fulfilling relationship is one of the most beautiful things in life that one could wish for. Unfortunately, disappointments and frustrations are the order of the day for many couples, and many do not find their way back into a harmonious relationship on their own.
As a couples therapist, I have already helped over 1,000 couples to solve a wide variety of relationship problems and find each other again, both emotionally and physically.
If frequent arguments and conflicts are your main problem, please stay on this page. If lack of sexual desire or other sexual problems is your main concern, please take a look at the Sex Therapy page directly.
However, if you want to come alone because your partner is not really ready for couples therapy, or if you have issues that only concern you, then go to the Individual Therapy page . And if it is really urgent and you want to really accelerate, then a double session or a full power day couple therapy might be appropriate.
Even if it's hard to imagine, there are solutions to most of your relationship problems. You are not alone with your questions and it is also not bad that you do not come up with the answers by yourself, because after all, "relationships" is not a school subject.
Let us work together to make your partnership a home again.
Find your way back to love…
What are good reasons for a couples therapy?
The first child
The second child
Lack of acceptance for different views
Bad / little sex
Stressors outside of the relationship
Little understanding for one another
Failure to respond when something is bothersome
Lack of trust
The list is far from complete, but it does give a first idea of what most couples are struggling with. I think you recognize yourself on one point or another. "The quality of your life is only as good as the quality of your relationship," says Esther Perel , one of the greats in international couples therapy.
Many therefore not only have relationship problems, but also suffer from concentration disorders, psychosomatic symptoms, fears or depression as a result. Lovesickness is to be taken seriously and can really make your whole life difficult. Act now! And not when it's too late.
If you want to achieve a lot in a short period of time, you can book an intensive session or a power day.
As a couple, you will find the right contact person here for all questions relating to sexuality, online or in my office.
Let’s deep dive into all topics about relationships and other matters of the heart
Those who have met Birgit Fehst not only notice right away that she is very competent and empathetic, but most and foremost very clear and comes to the point fast. The positive results speak for themselves. For me she is the number 1 recommendation when it comes to couple therapy.
We learned more about ourselves and each other, how to communicate better, and more. It's been a little over a year since we had our last appointment and we still talk about the homework she would give us in-between our sessions and how much they helped us. We recommend Birgit to anyone looking for a couples' therapist.
Frederik von G.
We had grown apart and lost respect for each other. We felt very understood by Mrs. Fehst and after a few sessions we could understand each other again as well. We now know how to speak about our feelings and needs.
My experience. Your new beginning.
My name is Birgit Fehst, I am 52 years old, have a beautiful office in Berlin-Charlottenburg and I am looking forward to working with you soon!
Nena, a famous German singer from the 80s, sang the strong words: „Love is made from courage“ and that is true. You are courageous as well when you take the first step to actively improve your relationship. To be really interested in seeing and hearing your partner and find out about his or her real needs.
And that is what we will do: we talk straight, the no fuss approach, speak it all out. With a scientific base, yet much understanding for all human matters.
Another success factor is my international education and the variety of my methods.
There is not just one way to live and to love, so there is no method that always works.
I like to use the tools of John Gottman, David Schnarch, Esther Perel, Ulrich Clement, the findings of modern neuroscience and many more approaches. I love to combine them and round things up with the experiences I have gained over the years. An intense and satisfying work…
How much does couples therapy cost?
Couple therapy 1.5 hours: 195 euros
Intensive couple therapy 3 hours: 380 euros
Intensive couple therapy full day: 1200 euros
The costs of a couple counseling always include the preparation and follow-up as well as the evaluation of a 30-page questionnaire. In addition, you have the option at any time to call me free of charge between the sessions if you have any questions or to contact me by email.
For many it is of inestimable value to always have a contact person in times of crisis and use this extensively and often.
Please note that you can cancel appointments (including first appointments) up to 36 hours in advance free of charge. Only then will a fee of 130 euros be charged, as the appointment cannot be reassigned. You can also book several appointments with an interval of 2 weeks in order to avoid any waiting times between the sessions.
Unfortunately, statutory health insurances do not cover the cost of couples therapy. Private health insurance companies only partially cover individual therapy. However, there is the option to claim the invoices for tax purposes. You can pay in cash or with a debit or credit card at the end of the session.
What is in it for you?
As described above, couples therapy can help you not only to improve your relationship, but also your overall quality of life. But why do you need outside help at all and just can't get it back on your own? You are not mentally ill!
True, the term “therapy” is misleading, because it is purely about the cooperation between the two of you, not about disorders of disease value. We are more like “couple teachers” or “couple counselors”; Coach or trainer would also be appropriate. We, too, first had to learn how relationships work. And we pass this knowledge on.
Many conflicts and dynamics repeat themselves over and over again. So they are in human nature. The couple therapy experts have got to the bottom of these conflicts and have developed methods of how they can be broken up.
So you get tools with which you can work at home every day. And you get tools to understand each other better. They are both individuals with different personality styles, different views, needs and values.
If you are really ready to fully understand and accept the other, it will be much easier for both of you to find solutions to your issues. Because according to John Gottman there are not simply “yes / no” solutions for 69% of conflicts, but they are based on precisely these different views or needs. And how you can deal with it more harmoniously, I'll show you in my practice.
Couples therapy step by step
This process is not set in stone, but rather shows typical approaches. Every couple comes with their own unique set of challenges, so yours may look very different. Also attached are some tips on methods for those who would like to know which tools I use, among other things.
What's wrong with the relationship?
We analyze what exactly you are dealing with over and over again and define your goals. What exactly would you like to change? What do you want instead?
Here I often work with the questionnaire and the tools by John Gottman. He has analyzed thousands of couples in his love lab and is able to make a prognosis of 94% accuracy about the course of the relationship. But even a negative prognosis doesn’t mean that you cannot make it. You have already become active and are ready for a change.
However, that change should indeed be initiated soon...
Interruption of couple dynamics
If frequent fights are in the center of attention, I’ll show you right in the first session how to get out of there. If sexuality is your topic, I’ll show you ways for getting the sex you want.. And if an affair threatens the relationship, I’ll show you how you can find your way back together.
Modern neuroscience has answers on how to get out of the traps couples fall into real quick. The methods of emotions focused couples therapy have a wonderful explanation for couple dynamics and how to turn them around. As a certified systemic sex therapist I use the knowledge of the systemic society and Sexocorporel. And regarding affairs I have learnt a lot from Esther Perel and David Schnarch.
From negative to positive
To simply disrupt a dysfunctional couple dynamic is not enough. We need to find the source of the negativity. What triggers you? Or what was the real reason for the infidelity? The interaction between you two cannot get better if you have a constant underlying feeling of resentment; no matter which tools you use. Not matter which tools you use. The negativity has to go. But- just to eliminate the negative, again, isn’t what makes you happy. You have to rebuild your emotional bank account. I’ll show you how to do that without falling back into old patterns.
In order to gain a better understanding for each other, I use various personality profiling models and again the findings of John Gottman.
The course and length ofcouples therapy
You make an appointment online , write me using the contact form, send me an email or give me a call. I will get back to you by phone or email and we will arrange an initial appointment of 1.5 hours (or 3 or 8 hours).
I don't do free trial sessions. However, if you / we notice during the first half an hour of the first meeting that a collaboration is not right, you can cancel without any ifs or buts free of charge.
There is no minimum or maximum number of appointments. You decide how often and for how long you want to come.
Most come between four and eight times. But there are also couples who only seek advice once or twice because they only need one impulse. And there are couples who keep coming back over the years to keep up with the ball.
A session usually lasts 1.5 hours. But you also have the opportunity to attend intensive 3-hour appointments or even a full power day! I have clients from all over Germany and also from abroad who are happy to take advantage of this opportunity. You can find more information about this here.
Books & Podcast Recommendations on Couples Therapy
Janis Abrahms – After the affair
One of the best books on affairs I know. A little scientific maybe, but with seriously valuable information!
John Gottmann - The Science of Trust
Trust is the basis of a relationship and understanding each other leads to trust. Find out more about it from John Gottman.
Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships (David Schnarch)
A relationship standard everybody should read when it comes to the challenges of long term relationships and marriages.